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Crusader Chronicles It's Not Just Men who are Exploiters and Abusers - PROJECT KIDSAFE FOUNDATION LTD
Bookmark and Share      Created: 2012-03-08 22:59:34   Last updated : 2012-04-02 10:11:06


SURVIVING CHILD ABUSE

SURVIVING CHILD ABUSE

Nikki Wells, Founder of Survivors Australia (now PROJECT KIDSAFE FOUNDATION LTD from PROJECT KIDSAFE FOUNDATION LTD - 30/03/2012     7E4368264     2     205A Notification of Resolution Changing Company Name)

 

The statistics are frighteningly high when it comes to people who have been sexually abused in childhood. We know this.

One in three women, and one in five men will have been sexually abused by the time they reach the age of 16. FACT.

And, while the statistics tell us that there are more women than men that are survivors, why is it that we seldom hear men speaking out and going public with their abuse? 

Understandably, it's extremely difficult for anyone to speakpublicly about their abuse, let alone tell the world of their childhoodtrauma via the media.  For all survivors secrecy, shame, guilt, andisolation have all been factors in their ongoing silence, with themajority of survivors not even disclosing their abuse until well intoadulthood. 

I can't help but think that there are so many more men out there who are suffering in silence and alone for fear of the stigma wronglyplaced on this scourge of society we know as childhood sexual assault(CSA). The fact that so many women speak out publicly about their abuse, points the community to the false idea that survivors of abuse are only females.

There are many urban myths bandied about when it comes to CSA, andI'd like to attempt to break down (if not eradicate) some of these myths which inhibit male survivors coming forward, disclosing their assaults, making police statements, seeking help etc.

Urban Myth Number 1 - Boys who are sexually abused go on to sexually abuse others.

One of my personally more hated myths, the Vampire Sydrome (as it is known) is extremely dangerous and damaging for the abuse survivor.  Survivors are NOT destined to become offenders - statistics tell usthis. Another concern is that instead of being seen as a victim whoneeds support and  help, male survivors can be treated as potentialoffender.  It is true that most perpetrators have histories of sexualabuse, although it is VERY important to note that most victims DO NOTbecome offenders.

Urban Myth Number 2 - Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual.

The greater majority of male survivors I meet tell me a similarstory "I wondered if I was gay".  Whether sexual abuse is perpetrated by a male or female, CSA is damaging in many ways, including the confusion about one's sexual identity or orientation - this is a standard"symptom".

Urban Myth Number 3 - Boys and men can't be "victims".

Society's tough guy image of how men should look, behave and reacthas a lot to answer for!  Men were once children, and children can bevictims, as all children are vulnerable. 

Perpetrators are larger in stature, strength and worldly knowledge - all combining to be power over children, male or female.

Urban Myth Number 4 - If a boy experiences arousal or orgasm he was a willing participant.

Even in traumatic and painful situations, males can and do respondphysically to stimulation. Many survivors feel incredible guilt becauseof their bodies reaction to being abused.  This does not mena that thechild "wanted" or "enjoyed" the experience.

Some perpetrators even use the child's physical response as a bribe to maintain silence.

Urban Myth Number 5 - Boys are less traumatized by the abuse experience than girls.

The long term effects of CSA on males and females are quitedamaging.  In fact, I often wonder if males are more damaged bysociety's refusal or reluctance to accept their victimization, and bytheir resultant belief that men must "tough it out" in silence.

If you're a male survivor of abuse, or you know someone who is,there is much help, literature and support out there for you to help onyour healing journey. There really is no reason for you to suffer insilence any longer.  Remembering that you were the VICTIM, and that this was not your fault, you should have absolutely no shame nor guilt inwhat happened to you as a child.  And, we as a society must thinkseriously think about the damage being done by perpetuating these urbanmyths and in turn, the ongoing trauma of male survivors.

Survivors Australia has listed many resources for survivors www.survivorsaustralia.org


Snapshot of http://www.survivorsaustralia.org/apps/blog/tag/csa/page1 taken 6.22PM Thursday, 8 March , 2012
 
 
Snapshot of http://www.malesurvivor.org/myths.html taken 6.24PM Thursday, 8 March , 2012
 
 

Male Sexual Victimization Myths & Facts

Adapted from a presentation at the 5th International Conference on Incest and Related Problems, Biel, Switzerland, August 14, 1991.

Myth #1 - Boys and men can't be victims.

This myth, instilled through masculine gender socialization and sometimes referred to as the "macho image," declares that males, even young boys, are not supposed to be victims or even vulnerable. We learn very early that males should be able to protect themselves. In truth, boys are children - weaker and more vulnerable than their perpetrators -who cannot really fight back. Why? The perpetrator has greater size, strength, and knowledge. This power is exercised from a position of authority, using resources such as money or other bribes, or outright threats - whatever advantage can be taken to use a child for sexual purposes.

Myth #2 - Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by homosexual males.

Pedophiles who molest boys are not expressing a homosexual orientation any more than pedophiles who molest girls are practicing heterosexual behaviors. While many child molesters have gender and/orage preferences, of those who seek out boys, the vast majority are not homosexual. They are pedophiles.

Myth #3 - If a boy experiences sexual arousal or orgasm from abuse, this means he was a willing participant or enjoyed it.

In reality, males can respond physically to stimulation (get an erection) even in traumatic or painful sexual situations. Therapists who work with sexual offenders know that one way a perpetrator can maintain secrecy is to label the child's sexual response as an indication of his willingness to participate. "You liked it, you wanted it," they'll say. Many survivors feel guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal while being abused. Physical (and visual or auditory) stimulation is likely to happen in a sexual situation. It does not mean that the child wanted the experience or understood what it meant at the time.

Myth #4 - Boys are less traumatized by the abuse experience than girls.

While some studies have found males to be less negatively affected, more studies show that long term effects are quite damaging for either sex. Males may be more damaged by society's refusal or reluctance to accept their victimization, and by their resultant belief that they must "tough it out" in silence.

Myth #5 - Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual.

While there are different theories about how the sexual orientation develops, experts in the human sexuality field do not believe that premature sexual experiences play a significant role in late adolescent or adult sexual orientation. It is unlikely that someone can make another person a homosexual or heterosexual. Sexual orientation is a complex issue and there is no single answer or theory that explains why someone identifies himself as homosexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual.Whether perpetrated by older males or females, boys' or girls' premature sexual experiences are damaging in many ways, including confusion about one's sexual identity and orientation.

Many boys who have been abused by males erroneously believe that something about them sexually attracts males, and that this may mean they are homosexual or effeminate. Again, not true. Pedophiles who are attracted to boys will admit that the lack of body hair and adult sexual features turns them on. The pedophile's inability to develop and maintain a healthy adult sexual relationship is the problem - not the physical features of a sexually immature boy.

Myth #6 - The "Vampire Syndrome"- that is, boys who are sexually abused, like the victims of Count Dracula, go on to "bite" or sexually abuse others.

This myth is especially dangerous because it can create a terrible stigma for the child, that he is destined to become an offender. Boys might be treated as potential perpetrators rather than victims who need help. While it is true that most perpetrators have histories of sexual abuse, it is NOT true that most victims go on to become perpetrators. Research by Jane Gilgun, Judith Becker and John Hunter found a primary difference between perpetrators who were sexually abused and sexually abused males who never perpetrated: non-perpetrators told about the abuse, and were believed and supported by significant people in their lives. Again, the majority of victims do not go on to become adolescentor adult perpetrators; and those who do perpetrate in adolescence usually don't perpetrate as adults if they get help when they are young.

Myth #7 - If the perpetrator is female, the boy or adolescent should consider himself fortunate to have been initiated into heterosexual activity.

In reality, premature or coerced sex, whether by a mother, aunt, older sister, baby-sitter or other female in a position of power over a boy, causes confusion at best, and rage, depression or other problems in more negative circumstances. To be used as a sexual object by a morepowerful person, male or female, is always abusive and often damaging.

Believing these myths is dangerous and damaging.

  • So long as society believes these myths, and teaches them to children from their earliest years, sexually abused males will be unlikely to get the recognition and help they need.
  • So long as society believes these myths, sexually abused males will be more likely join the minority of survivors who perpetuate this suffering by abusing others.
  • So long as boys or men who have been sexually abused believe these myths, they will feel ashamed and angry.
  • And so long as sexually abused males believe these myths they reinforce the power of another devastating myth that all abused children struggle with: that it was their fault. It is never the fault of the child in a sexual situation - though perpetrators can be quite skilled at getting their victims to believe these myths and take on responsibility that is always and only their own.

For any male who has been sexually abused, becoming free of these myths is an essential part of the recovery process.

 
 
 
Plagarism comparison 
 

PLAGIARISMS,AND SELF-ATTRIBUTIONS CONTINUE

Notwithstanding having been counselled by Dr. Jodi Death, QUT researcher and a “simple fix” applied...

a) the original authors of the plagiarised clinical articles were not correctly attributed

b) plagiarisms continue to exist.

c) Nikki Wells continues to re-work published research by professional clinicians in a manner to make the work appear as her own personal, documented experience.

 

Responsefrom QUT Research and Ethics Unit regarding Nikki Wells Plagiarisms

7 March 2012 to John Brown - contact@tfyqa.biz

...In relation to the alleged plagiarism - Nikki Wells’ comments are not related to the QUT project and as such we are not able to take any direct action.

However, it is our understanding that Dr Jodi Death, QUT researcher, has counselled Ms Wells as to appropriate action to take in this regard. Further,it is our understanding that the incident was rectified as soon as possible with the original author being correctly attributed; as such we believe this issue is now resolved.

Please accept our assurances again that QUT and our UHREC are very much committed to the values and principles of ethical conduct in human research. We thank you for raising these matters with us; please don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions. “

 

Following is a comparison of two similar articles on Male Survivors of Clergy Sex Abuse

See http://www.malesurvivor.org.myths.html

MALE SURVIVOR -

Overcoming Sexual Victimisation of Boys and Men

Findplagiarisations by Nikki Wells at http://www.survivorsaustralia.org/apps/blog

ITS NOT JUSTWOMEN WHO ARE SURVIVORS

NikkiWells of Survivors Australia claims authorship of the MALE SURVIVOR research....All plagiarisms are highlighted in yellow and are posted directly under the plagiarised paragraph

 

MALESURVIVOR article

MYTH#6

The Vampire Syndrome

This myth is especially dangerous because it can create a terrible stigma for the child – that he is destined to become an offender. Boys might be treated as potential perpetrators rather than victims who need help. It is not true that most victims go on to become perpetrators. Whilst it is true that mosr perpetrators have histories of sexual abuse...

 

NikkiWells' plagiarism of the above

URBANMYTH Number 1

oneof my personally more hated myths ...” (NikkiWells appriopriates the researchas her personal work and experience)...(The Vampire Myth as it is known), is extremely dangerous and damaging for thue abuse survivor. Survivors are not destined to become offenders..statistics tell us this...(statistics researched by Nikki Wells). Instead of being seen as a victim who needs support and help, male survivors can be treated as potential offenders. It is true that most [perpetrators have histories of sexual abuse. Very important to note that most victims do not go on to become offenders.

 

MALESURVIVOR

MYTH#1 Boys and men can't be victims.

Boysare not supposed to be victims or even vulnerable.

The perpetrator has greater size, strength and knowledge.

NikkiWells' plagiarism of the above

URBANMYTH Number 3 Boys and men can't be victims

Perpetrators are larger in stature, strength and worldly knowledge.

 

MALESURVIVOR

MYTH# 4 Boys are less traumatised by the abuse experience.

Most studies show that the long term effects are quite damaging. Males maybe more damaged by society's refusal or reluctance to accept their victimisation, and by their resultant belief that they must “tough it out” in silence.

NikkiWells plagiarism of the above

URBANMYTH Number 5 Boys are less traumatised by the experience thangirls. The long term effects (of CSA on males and females) are quitedamaging.

...”Iwonder if ...” (Nikki's personalisation of the article)...males are more damaged by society's refusal or reluctance to accept their victimisation. And by their resultant belief that men must “tough it out” in silence.

 

MALESURVIVOR

MYTH#3 If a boy experienced sexual arousal or orgasm form the abuse,this means he was a willing particepant or enjoyed it. Males canrespond to stimulation even in traumatic or painful sexual situations. Many survivors feel guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal.

NikkiWells plagiarism of the above

URBANMYTH Number 4 If a boy experienced arousal or orgasm he was a willing participant. Even in traumatic or painful situations males can and do respond physically to stimulation. Many survivors feel incredible guilt because of their bodies reaction to being abused.

 

MALESURVIVOR

MYTH#5 Boys abused by males will become homosexual.

Whether perpetrated by older males or females, premature sexual expariences are damaging in many ways....including confusion about one's sexual identity and orientation.

Nikki Wells plagiarism of the above

URBANMYTH Number 2 Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual. Whether sexual abuse is perpetrated by a male or a female, CSA is damaging in many ways....including confusion about one's sexualidentity or orientation.

 

MALESURVIVOR

MYTH# 4 Boys are less traumatised by the abuse than girls.

Nikki Wells plagiarism of the above

URBANMYTH Number 5 Boys are less traumatised by the abuse experience than girls. The long term effects of CSA on males and females are quite damaging, in fact.

 

 

Note Allplagiarisms are complete with grammatical errors!

 

Attributionsof the article to Nikki's personal experience-

Thereare five separate instances throughout the plagiarised text where Nikki Wells makes statements by which she attempts to attribute this research about (male surviourship of sexual abuse) to herself, based on her personal experience...

EXAMPLE- See especially 4) 6th Para- "The greater majority of male survivors I meet.."

Howmany male survivors would be talking to Nikki Wells about their sexual abuse details? Nikki is not a therapist! She did not finish school, she never went to University (see U Tube video Halleluia)

 

1)3rd.Para,. - “I can't help thinking that there are so many more men out there who are suffering in silence....”

 

2)4thPara,-“And I'd like to attrempt to break down ( if not eradicate) some of these myths...”

 

 

3)5thPara,- “ One of my more personally hated myths..,..Statistics tell us this....”

 

4)6thPara.- “ The greateer majority of male survivors I meet tell me a similar story “I wondered if I was gay.”

 

5)9thPara,- “ I often wonder if males are...”

 

 


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Myth #2 - Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by homosexual males.

Pedophiles who molest boys are not expressing a homosexual orientation any more than pedophiles who molest girls are practicing heterosexual behaviors. While many child molesters have gender and/or age preferences, of those who seek out boys, the vast majority are not homosexual. They are pedophiles.


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