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Angies story Please hear my story, I NEED YOUR HELP - ANGIE's story
Bookmark and Share      Created: 2010-04-11 13:22:55   Last updated : 2010-04-12 00:07:42

We received the following via email from Angie not long after publication  (Monday, 12 April 2010).
 
Could this happen in Australia? Not only could it happen in this one place there are many more stories to come from Angie's and others stories. We are aware of some of Angie's story, we know there is much more to tell - you can donate directly to Angie through our donate page - include the word Angie in your donation.
 
JohnB
 
Molested Catholics is here to give you the ability to tell you story in you own words.


-------- Original Message --------
Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2010 00:03:46 +1030
From: Angela XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: John B <contact@Molestedcatholic.com>


Please tell me we can stop Pells so claimed intervention entering Ireland, it would break my heart that they were mislead THROUGH THE SYSTEM

stop Pell he is not to be trusted, look at what i had to deal with. protect your children no-matter what cost! i had to send my son away to protect him  THANKS TO PELLS INTERVENTION ON CLERGY MISCONDUCT AND CHILD ABUSE
IN THE MELB RESPONSE.
ANGIE
 
 
 
 
 
 

ANGIE's story

 
 
Please hear my story,

I NEED YOUR HELP

I am a single Mother of 6 beautiful children. I am a member of the Catholic Church community in Healesville. My eldest son who was just 14 at the time, was devoted to his faith and participated in the mass as an altar boy of the St Brigid’s Parish, He had worked under several priests before Fr Pavlou was introduced to our parish.

Fr Pavlou became infatuated with my son to the point he couldn’t go a day without seeing him. Even when I set Boundaries of their interaction he continually broke them and encouraged my son to lie to me and teachers.

So he could see him, there would always be one excuse or another to draw my son to meet him without my consent, the texting by phone became daily and he often told my son he was his best bud.

I was very concerned of what I was seeing and spoke to my son of my concerns, but at the start my son was blinded with the offers that Pavlou had offered my son.

Endless time on the Internet, Xbox games, and movies to keep drawing my son’s attention to the Priests place.

I believe it’s every mother’s right to protect her children to the best of their ability. So I became involved and making sure I was there to oversee their interaction on a couple of occasions to ease my mind, but instead certain things this Priest did hit a lot of alarm bells for me.

Dismayed and bewildered at the fight I had in trying to get my son home safely without Pavlou luring my son to his place kept failing no matter what I did. Pavlou always found a way to see my son;

As I was on full alert the minute my son was Late home from school I would tell all the children to get in the car and having to go to presbytery and tell my son to leave Pavlou’s home to get in the car now!! That he should be home not there.

After many times of driving down to collect my son, once again Pavlou knew I was making it difficult for him to spend time with my son alone.

I was at my wits end and constantly worried of this man’s obsession with my son. To having many confrontations with the Priest to back off and leave my son alone.

I sought advice from Police But they were not helpful of my situation, there was no crime to report just a man that was needing my sons attention all the time.

I was pushed to far the next time Pavlou overrode my Parental rules thinking to myself,” oh no he has got my son again the panic, so much fear of the worry if your son is actually safe. When I found my son, with Pavlou! I YELLED at Pavlou  The Priest to leave us alone.

Pavlou told me he would and left, But would you believe it, he started ringing my son at school telling my son they have to keep their meetings secret. He even had the ordasity to collect my son from school saying he would give him a lift home but detoured to the priests home. Telling my son that I’m not coping and to stressed and He shouldn’t listen to me.

To then finding out that the Priest asked my child to ride to his place in the morning and catch the bus on the other side of town. Informing him that if he missed the bus Pavlou offered to drive him to school; this was done unbeknown to me. As Pavlou was aware of my sons time that he had to be home after school and that I was fully on guard. He was always looking for time to get my son alone with him so I didn’t know.

I knew nothing I did would stop this man. To be forced into a position; that I had no choice, but to send my son away for there are ‘NO Laws’ on grooming. Or a man having an obsession in getting to a child and getting him alone with him, as I had 5 other children that needed my attention

I HAD TO SEND MY SON AWAY FROM HOME FOR HIS PROTECTION; DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS FOR A MOTHER? TO ACKNOWLEDGE I CANNOT KEEP MY SON SAFE AND HAVE TO SEND HIM AWAY FOR HIS OWN PROTECTION IT TORE ME TO PIECES.

I told my son that I was sending him away to stay at his grandmothers so he can have the remainder of the yr of school to have a Holiday.

My son welcomed this offer as he started to acknowledge concerned behaviour of Pavlou himself (but did not tell me this as my son knew I was against him visiting the priest. As a mother with no evidence you can’t condemn a man and tell your child you fear he is a Paedophile, as my child couldn’t tell me because he trusted the priest and listened to him, instead of his mothers boundaries) my son tried to withdraw from Pavlou’s attention, and demands but the Priest wouldn’t let go without a fight.

In passing conversation my son told the priest he was leaving for a holiday, this didn’t stop the priest telling my son if he left and listened to me! He would be a quitter for the rest of his life; if he did go he would fail his VCE.

If he went the priest claimed he wouldn’t be able to cope with the parish without my sons support. If he was my son’s teacher, he would fail him, and so on to all hours of the night. The amount of pressure on a 14 yr old BOY was wrong

Unaware that this Priest was trying to blackmail my son, I entered the lounge of my home and asked my son to go to Bed, and asked the Priest to leave my home.

After my son went to bed the priest then started to blackmail me saying that he won’t be able to hold of DHS, that I would be a questionable parent in neglecting my son’s education.

That I was providing my son with no discipline of his responsibilities, then Pavlou told me he wouldn’t cope without my son and would go on sick leave till he got back.

Alarm bells again, I responded to the priest you have a real infatuation with my son, he replied Yes he is so great to talk to, I have never met a child like him. He is so mature and I like his company. I can’t help myself I need his support.

After he had left I went to check on my son and say goodnight and I found him in Bed CRYING, I immediately concerned for him asked what was wrong he then told me of the Priests threats and asked me would he fail his VCE if he went away on a Holiday. So much worry and Pressure on a child hurt me deeply.

(Mind you my son was only in yr 9 at the time) I reassured him the school fully supports him having a holiday and that he had nothing to worry about,  I had already spoken to the Yr 9 co-ordinator and Dean had no concerns of him going onto yr 10 I told him not to worry about it that Pavlou had no right to say that to him.

I told my son not to worry I will deal with Pavlou, Adult to Adult I will take over this battle, my son was relieved and said goodnight

After hearing this I spoke to 2 parishioners of my fears and that I am sending my son away for his safety. to stop the Priest contacting my son and give him time to breathe.

The thought of Pavlou ‘claiming’ he was unwell, and tell parishioners at mass this, to enable him to go on sick leave. THIS concerned me greatly.

The fear of him, following my son, so he could continue seeing him. Panic mode was high in the protection of my son for me at this time. I still not knowing who to express my concerns too as the Priest is the Boss of the Church and Catholic School of which my children attend.

I sent my son away and told him to leave his mobile with me so Pavlou couldn’t contact him.

My worst fear came to be true, the priest entered the church fine then during the mass he started crying saying he wasn’t coping. (Pavlou was unaware when, I sent my son away, I thought it better that way) to acknowledge he had just held mass at Yarra Glen and did this act , to gain support and play the Parishioners to be fools, and regain himself and play the same scene in Healesville. He claimed he was unwell and not coping and sobbed infront of the Parish

I sat there at the back of the church and put myself in my son’s shoes (I ask you to join me there, imagine as a CHILD sitting there) and I watched all the parishioners hug him welcome him to their homes for meals, offering prayers and offering their full Support.

That they all rallied around him and hugged him and reassured him he had their full support, I have witnessed firsthand what it would be like to feel as a VICTIM would feel,

The pain, insecurity and fear of watching all the parish lobbying around this priest, offering their FULL SUPPORT,

The shock and pain of what I had witnessed locks you so deep!!!!

How do I voice the TRUTH, and I am an Adult, imagine what it would do to a child watching all this. No-one will listen to me, they’re all supporting him, and I have no one to turn to. I am all ALONE.

Well I can tell you I was so thankful my son did not witness this. Would you believe it, after all this support! From the Parishioners, What did the priest do??, TEXT MY SON within minutes after the last Parishioner leaving.’ Hi Bud, still not coping, promise we sms everyday.’

When Pavlou didn’t get a reply from my son, he then rang me to find out where my son was as he needed to talk to him, God forgive me, I lied and told him that my son was visiting a friend. As I didn’t want him to know I sent him away immediately after his threats.

I told my brother to look after him and filled him in on all the details so he could understand the mental state my son was in and to tread caustially

After Pavlou texting my son, then rang me. Well I can tell you I was angry and was determined to see the truth be told. I approached the Primary school principal and gave him seven pages off my list of grievances that I had with this priest and begged and demanded to be listened to. As I had no where to turn and needed help; in finding someone to hear my story. The Principal then referred me onto the Melb Response Team.

Attachment, supplied above “faith betrayed”

I was in the impression that this system was set up to help the victims and get support and advice in going to the legal system but to my shock they were more concerned in letting me hand it over to them, and to keep it quiet for ‘our sake’ and let them deal with it. That the Parish didn’t need to be told of the situation they informed me.

 I kept lobbying them to act as they allowed the priest to leave the parish, on sick leave! and was not over seeing him which concerned me, for my son’s safety.

As the thought of this man out in the community where there are other children at risk.  As well, as my own child. I did what they asked and kept quiet in my community and co-operated with their enquiry but O’Callaghan was relaying our information to Pavlou.

Allowing pavlou to take a different step as he had all the Parish support he seeked out Parishioners to write affidavits to say I was of poor character, that I was only after Money (compensation) that I had put my son up to it!!

To then Hearing of a secret meeting that was relayed to me through a parishioner that Maria Kirkwood held a meeting to discuss topics in relation to victims and clergy misconduct with selected Parishioners in the Parish Hall.

Due to Pavlou’s attack on me in the community, insisted by a parishioner that was aware of what Pavlou was doing to my Family in the community, to set things straight as I did what they asked and remained silent.

I heard Maria mainly focussed on the compensation panels in her conversations. Until two Parishioners stood up and objected of their own personal concerns of the priest.

Through all this I was not given any support as a single mother of six children
I asked continuously for Parents to be told the truth and that programs need to be put in place in the school and Parish for parents and students but this was never done.

Till one day a child from the school pointed at Fr Julian and said he is one of those. So then a letter was sent home to parents via the principal for parents with concerns to come and talk, as the children were expressing; their Parents concerns at school. That the situation; needed to be dealt with delicately.

 Due to Julian being pointed out! Not that my family was on our own battling with the situation. So as long as I was alone in the battle that was ok, but when the priest was pointed out. Then a letter should be sent to Parishioners and parents, unbelievable.

 Thanks to the Melb Response of handling this case. To think at the start only 2 Parishioners and 1 Principal knew.

Now I am totally alone and the community was buzzing with gossip, and judging the situation (me).

 I felt that Not only did the response team neglect my child. They with held information that my son had disclosed, from me his parent of a minor for several months,

 I trusted them to help my son, and to be honest, not to keep secret’s, by a request from a minor. Which I felt was inappropriate

To keep us waiting! On such an important issue; child safety.

And as an Adult, or any member of an organisation  should’ look out for the best interest of the child’ and report it to the parent and proper authorities as soon as the child has disclosed the abuse,  and child pornography.

As it is compulsory for social workers, teachers and other professions have to do, by Law. Which O’Callaghan claimed in a news report he didn’t believe any crime had been committed and he is the Independent Commissioner of clergy misconduct and prevention of child sex abuse?

Appointed by Archbishop Pell for O’Callaghan to handle complaints and  make decisions on these matters.

I thought if my sons disclosure to O’Callaghan; in his opinion that it was not of a criminal nature then what is???

  And if it was handed to the authorities immediately then I wouldn’t have to live with stress and heart ache for 4 yrs as Pavlou deleted the evidence of the computer and used O’Callaghan’s information to damage my family in the community and to protect himself by hiding evidence

To think O’Callaghan is in the position to make the decisions at his in my opinion mock trials he holds at his discretion. Not only did they withhold info but at no time did they advise or let me know to go the police.
 
 Where I stood as a Parent due to withheld info I did not believe I had a case because all I saw was obsession and some certain touching that was questionable, that I had witnessed hence alarm bells , grooming is not a crime here in Australia, which is a huge concern to me as I witnessing it first hand,  when they finally disclosed the information my son told them. I knew I had a case for the Police to consider, 

 This angered me and this is when I sought outside help and demanded if my son goes through any trial it will be in a court of law not in a court of secrecy and no conviction as that is what I thought of the system that was offered to me.

To get solicitors on each side and put both cases forward and then O’Callaghan makes a final decision on the case. Then what, they offer Pavlou counselling. If the priest refused; and left the priesthood. Then he would be free to be involved in a community and reoffend, either way.

(H.E.A.R-Healesville Education and Awareness Raising, IS who I turned to once I became aware of the information my son disclosed to Susan Sharky and Maria Kirkwood from the Archdiocese which was with held, from me.

HEAR founders, Ian Lawther and Pam Krstic were the only ones that supported me through this battle in my local community. With one close friend from the parish.

Ian and Pam got me in touch with In Good Faith and Ass, and Lewis holdway lawers

I felt betrayed and angry that the Archdiocese withheld such important information from me it felt like they didn’t want the truth to be told

When the Police was notified of what my son had disclosed they acted instantly and acknowledged that there is a potential crime which was reported to them and believed it should be investigating.

The case was won and the priest was convicted in 2009 and Pavlou is now on the sex offenders register. Charged with two offences

After 4 yrs of heartache and scrutinee and judgement and poison that was planted into the community about my character. Thanks to the Archdiocese, Priest, and I thought the church mishandling of the case with discussing points with teachers and parishioners, I believe the case should of been dealt with better in my opinion

Well you would think it would stop with the conviction of the priest being charged GUILTY; BUT NO!!!

Here I sit bewildered and shocked after I learnt that the local Priest of our community had required a priest off a supply list which he had selected, knowing Barry Robinson had a history of having sex with a sixteen yr old Boy

Barry Robinson was asked to assist in the masses in Healesville This Easter. Who had been re-instated by O’Callaghan, Les Tomlinson and Archbishop Pell to enter into parishes?

I couldn’t believe it my son came back from his holiday at just 14 to report an offender. In order to protect the other children in this parish he cared about.  To find out that Fr Julian had asked a self disclosing priest that had sex with a sixteen yr old boy, to assist at the Healesville Parish.

Julian Offered Barry to stay at the Presbytery; in Healesville over the Easter period.

The fact that Julian; announced on several occasions to families in the Parish.

‘To make Barry’ feel welcome!

 ‘To welcome him’ into their homes!

After Fr Julian was informed, by a parishioner that HEAR knew of whom the priest was, even though they reassuring the Priest via the parishioner that they would not protest.

Fr Julian pulled the masses and cancelled the priest on Holy Thursday day morning, Last minute decision as he acknowledged People know of Barry’s past and asked Parishioners to attend at Lilydale. If the Parishioner that was shocked in being told this information; didn’t question Julian. The masses would not have been cancelled

I was so Angry I seeked out email addresses of several parishioner and principals about 30 or so people in the community, even though I have not felt comfortable about the insults that were thrown around about me. I sent them a letter by email and told them all exactly what I felt the hurt and betrayal I felt, after everything my child went through.

 A copy of this letter is attached. For you to read.

Please help, and help me to protect children

I desperately need you to step in and order an independent investigation into O’Callaghan’s office that was set up by Pell and do a full investigation of all the cases that have been presented to O’Callaghan by Victims for Help and stop these men reoffending and protect our children from sex abuse

PLEASE HELP AS A MOTHER, PARENT CONCERNED FOR CHILDRENS SAFETY PLEASE HELP AND ACT, TO PLEASE POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND PLEASE THOSE OF YOU THAT WORK IN THESE AREAS PLEASE TALK TO ME OF THE OPTIONS AND STRUCTURES AND POLICIES WE CAN PUT IN PLACE TO BETTER PROTECT OUR CHILDREN. In schools and our communities

From where I sit all I see is Men that like little boys are sent to our community by The Archdiocese, Fr Daniel, convicted, Fr Pavlou, Convicted, Fr Barry who ran away from Boston and hid here in Australia to esc conviction.

Believe me there are so many other Parishes that are dealing with this betrayal of trust in their communities. There are so Many Victims.

 Ballarat, Lilydale, Eltham, Geelong, Yea, Yarra Glen, Oakleigh, Donvale, Yarra Junction, Doveton, Kilmore, Tarrawarra Abbey, Maitland Newcastle, Townsville, Maryborough, Cambelltown, Brisbane, Cains, Wollongong, Hobart, Bedford W.A, Rockhampton, Auburn, Graville, Nth Albury, Wagga Wagga, Canberra, Perth, Hunters Hill, Belmont, Tawoomba, Parramatta, Sunbury, Brunswick, Wodonga; to name a couple

Please help me get a meeting with hon. Kevin Rudd so I can feel my cry for help is being heard and an independent investigation is done on the Melb response which was set up by Archbishop Pell

The police are stretched to the limit and support organisations don’t accept you unless you are reported or requested from an independent organisation for assistance.

 When your alone even reaching out you are told sorry unless you have a case worker we can’t help you

Being on your own reaching out to groups supported by your government and told sorry we can’t help WHAT DO YOU DO? I ask you to hear my full story there is so much more.

You Say YOU ARE THERE TO REPRESENT THE PEOPLE. I AM TELLING YOU I AM HERE TO REPRESENT THE VICTIMS, please listen to my life and my trials, of trying to protect children in all community.

Angie Boede
 
When a Catholic priest began preying on her son [PDF]
 
Angie's letter to the Healesville Community [PDF]

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